Kids live for summer break and it can be fun for parents too! It can also be trying and stressful at times. The structure of school vanishes overnight. Kids need to be entertained, ask for things often, and can be demanding at times. Your house becomes a nonstop snack bar and entertainment hub. You become the negotiator of sibling interactions. There is pressure on parents to make plans, create memories, spend money, and solve all of the problems big and small. The mounting pressure and activity of summer can increase stress levels. If you feel overwhelmed at times, you are not alone. Here are some tips to enjoy summer and not lose your cool.
How to keep your cool when your kids are home for the summer. Tips to keep your kids happy while keeping your stress level in check.
Robin Hyson
1. Let go of perfect.
Let go of what you think summer “should be” and try to be present with what is in front of you today. It is ok to let the house be messy or the laundry be undone sometimes. You don’t need to be an Instagram perfect summer camp director.
2 Let your kids be bored sometimes.
It’s okay if your kids are bored sometimes. When they say they are bored, ask them what they are going to do about it. Encourage them to call a friend, build a fort, play a game and let them figure it out. Boredom breeds creativity. You’re not failing, they’re just learning to entertain themselves (a skill they’ll thank you for later).
3. Set up a loose summer schedule.
Let the schedule be routine but not rigid. The goal is rhythm not rigidity.
Structure helps keep stress levels down. When kids, and adults, know what to expect, they experience a sense of stability and predictability. This helps to reduce feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. It helps us to feel more organized, reduces procrastination, and allows for better time management.
Create a flexible schedule that includes:
Wake up times
Screen time limits
Outdoor play
Meal/snack time
Chores
4. Get out of the house regularly
A change of scenery can make a big difference. Studies show that being outside (in nature) can lower the stress hormone cortisol. It promotes positive emotions and can lower heart rate and blood pressure.
Parks, beaches, concerts in the park, libraries and other local events can break up the day, give everyone something to look forward to, and burn off energy. Plus, being around other adults, even if it is just a hello or a knowing look at the playground, can help you feel more human.
5. Play!
Sometimes the last thing we want to do is run around. However, play can be a powerful tool for stress management! Play triggers the release of endorphins and other natural mood boosting hormones and reduces stress hormones like cortisol. Play provides a mental break from stressors, emotional release and improves mood. It enhances creativity and social connection. It can contribute to an overall increase in well-being for kids and adults alike. Plus, play is the language of childhood. It can help us feel closer and more connected to our kids.
6. Carve out adult time.
We need breaks too! Take a walk alone, workout, go to yoga, read your book, make a date with a friend. Make time to exist outside of parenthood. Ask for help when you need it, car pool, schedule a sitter, talk with your counselor, or chat with a friend. Do something that fills your cup. Your mental health matters.
7. Leave some days to do nothing.
Not every day needs to be packed with activities. In fact, it is important to protect some days and intentionally make no plans. Over-scheduling can lead to burnout and meltdowns for parents and kids. Slow days at home are perfectly fine.. and can be surprisingly restful.
8. Laugh more, stress less.
When a day gets out of control, and they will, laugh when you can. Summer with kids can be chaos, but trying to tune into the simple things we are grateful for can really shift our perception and mood. Summer can be full of spontaneous fun, and moments you will miss someday. Embrace the imperfections.
Final Thoughts
Summer doesn’t have to make you sweat. You don’t have to be perfect. With a little structure, realistic expectations, and time for yourself, you can get though while keeping your cool… and even enjoy it!
If you need some more support establishing structure, setting boundaries or managing the emotional load of parenting, talk to a therapist. As a therapist and mom, myself, I know life can be stressful. I also know that therapy can help people build confidence, reduce stress, and find peace in every season… even summer!